A Refresher On Airline Security
October 20th, 2009 by Zain Iqbal
Travel isn’t the same as it used to be. Certainly one of the most noticeable changes, especially when it comes to flying in the post-9/11 world, is the sometimes arduous process of getting through security lines at the airport. You’ll hear people complain and criticize the system for being inefficient, for being unnecessary, or for just existing in the first place. And sure; the Transportation Security Administration isn’t perfect, but it seems like it’s going to be part of our lives for a while yet. Therefore, deal with it. And read these tips.
Security lines, like these at Denver International Airport, aren't as intimidating as you think
Tip 1: Ticket and ID in hand, say hi to the TSA agent, smile
For the most part, the job of a TSA agent (known officially as transportation security officers) is an unforgiving and thankless job where the majority of the passengers would rather give them the evil eye than offer polite salutations. When you approach the first agent, have that ID and ticket ready – this doesn’t mean buried inside your bag or even sitting in your back pocket. Say hi, hand your ID and boarding pass to them in one hand, and when they make eye contact with you to check the picture ID, smile. Don’t look downcast or avoid it, that’s a sure-fire way to get shunted off into the dreaded “pre-security screening.”
Tip 2: If you are wearing metal, take it off. If you contain metal, tell an officer
Out of the 117 elements in the periodic table about 26% are non-metals. While this fun fact might not have anything to do with what you’re wearing on a daily basis, it’s possible that somewhere, either hanging outside or sitting inside your body, is a piece of metal. That little button on top of your baseball hat? Metal. Your gold necklace and assorted rings? Metal. That metal screw in your leg from a recent surgery? Metal. If it isn’t removable, just tell the TSA people before you get in line. And if you’re anxious about being screened in front of a bunch of other people, ask for a private screening.
Tip 3: Organize your liquids and your life
In my experience, what makes for an easy time through security versus one that is wracked with uncomfortable bag searches and pat-downs are two things: organization and confidence. If you don’t bother to put your liquids in a plastic bag and put them on the conveyor, or are unwilling to take your laptop out of it’s case, your carry-ons might get flagged. People ask me all the time, “with a Pakistani name like Zain Iqbal, do you ever get searched?” My reply is, “absolutely not, because I have nothing to hide and I put everything out there for the TSA to see.” Unfortunately, I see poor 80-year old women getting the pat-down more than I have in my entire traveling career, but that’s for another rant.
Tip 4: Get to an elite level through a frequent flyer program and breeze through security
Sure, this may be a little elitist, especially if you don’t fly a lot, but it doesn’t take a lot of miles to reach the basic level of status on most of the major airlines. In some cases, airports will have separate lines for passengers who have achieved status, such as the United Airlines security checkpoint at San Francisco International Airport. Check out Flyer Talk for all sorts of fantastic ways to rack up miles. Plus, if you end up flying that much, you’ll learn through observation (or just via trial-and-error) of what not to do in security. It’s a win-win situation!
No hand grenades, period
And Most Importantly, Tip 5: Absolutely NO HAND GRENADES are allowed on planes
Offbeat Guide and weird news guru Eric Willis found this article on the official (and rather amusing) TSA Blog. It seems that one of their writers, Blogger Bob, had to write a post on checkpoint etiquette when it comes to carrying hand grenades and items shaped like hand grenades on-board an airplane. He’s been asked whether or not fireworks are allowed on planes too. People, common sense dictates if you are carrying an instrument that either was able to blow up people in the past or merely resembles a tool used to blow people up, chances are it does NOT belong on an airplane.
Photos by sixmilliondollardan via Flickr, and TSA.gov
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Regarding having metallic implants in one’s body (not including piercings) – your doctor will gladly provide you with a credit-card sized x-ray of the object(s) and a brief medical description along with his contact info; this is pretty much standard procedure these days for metallic medical implants. Hand this with your ID and boarding pass to the TSA officer.